No Filter

Let's play a game. Close your eyes and imagine that you are standing in line at the bank. It's about 10 in the morning and there are two people ahead of you. As you're waiting for the next teller the man in front of you farts so loudly that unless you were deaf there is no way that you couldn't have heard him. What do you do? 

Pregnant people amuse me greatly. A couple weeks ago my barista friend Kristy discovered that she was pregnant. Now Kristy is a wonderful woman. She has a kind heart, a good sense of humor and is going to make an excellent mother. That said, I have noticed that since she started manufacturing her mini-me  her "Filter" has been switched off. You know the one I'm talking about. The little mechanism that keeps all those snarky remarks inside your head from coming out your mouth? Yep. That's the one. It's off.

Now, awhile back I was reading through my Zobmondo book when I came across this scenario: "Would you rather always have say what's on your mind or never say what's on your mind?" I thought about it for awhile and decided to go for the latter option. Mainly because I have far too many wicked thoughts running around upstairs and being forced to say them would probably land me in the hospital. I never considered pairing the former option with pregnancy. Pregnant women can get away with just about anything. 

That said, let's return to the bank where Kristy stands in line behind the man who has just dropped the biggest bomb since Hiroshima. Her internal monologue went like this, "Oh, My, G-D...! That. Is. Rancid!" At the window teller number one is finishing with his customer, "That will be twenty...-chuckle-...twenty one, two, -laughter- and three." Teller number one succumbs to laughter followed shortly by teller number two, and it is then that Kristy realizes that her internal monologue was not internal at all. Oh no. In fact it was incredibly external and everyone has heard what she has said, including the man in front of her who is now beet red.

This is going to be the most memorable 9 months ever.