Sunday, May 12, 2013

I have ADD it's a mental condition where, wait. Did I condition my hair this morning?

I have been fighting this stereotype for years. I know I have a hard time concentrating. Watching me in my office alone is a scary thing. I think scientists would be baffled for years if they tried to logically map the journey I go on from answering e-mails to organizing costumes. This of course is why it takes me days sometimes to complete tasks. All of them are getting done, just at the same time, and therefore it takes longer to get any one thing completed in a timely fashion.

This morning I was reminded of my condition when I decided to put up the laundry line. I had heard the dryer running and seeing that it was a gorgeous day decided to let Mother Nature help me with some of my chores. It is after all, her day. (Mother's Day. Not Earth Day. Just to clarify.) I needed to get tape to attach it to my balcony so I headed into the laundry room. Realizing that there were distractions in abundance en route I started chanting "Tape, tape, tape, tape" in hopes that I would remember my purpose when I arrived in the bathroom 15 feet and 5 seconds later.

I entered the bathroom chuckling to myself about the idiocy of it all and was about ready to open up the cupboard door when I glanced down and saw that the washing machine was empty. "Oh man!" I exclaimed. "I thought I had put a load in before I took Jasper out."

So, I went back into the hallway, picked up a pile of clothes and stuffed them into my tiny front loader. Satisfied that I had accomplished something very great indeed, I headed back to the kitchen where I stood in triumph drinking my morning cup of Earl Grey and staring at the Netflix screen.

"Why was I looking at Netflix?" I wondered, mainly because I generally don't enlist the time sucking companion unless I'm doing chores. "Oh no," I thought with dread. "What was I doing before this?" And that's when I heard the dryer. I need help.