Date night stories

So today at work I got a great idea for date night:

• Go to Hastings and write a short story using book titles

I know! I'm a genius. Anyway, after the captain and I went out for mexican food and spent our time pondering the great mysteries of the world (as posed by tidbits), we headed to the book store and composed these masterpieces. I've bolded the book titles.

THE CAPTAINS' STORY
Gregor, the Overlander and eldest lightening thief was a wicked highland sinner. His sweetheart, the other daughter of Dracula, was a mistress of the art of death. They would prey on each other with animal instincts in the comany of cheerful ladies, calling it holy sex, and leaving them in a state of fear. But then, a pure reader of the Bible, an unquiet mind, came to try and influence the everlost with the secret to true happiness. This was a smack to their faces and gave them peace like a river.

MY STORY (Slightly shorter because I restarted 15 minutes in)
The known world is virgin earth. A separate country on the rocks. One hundred years of solitude in the waste land brings a year of wonders. In the company of cheerful ladies, Cavelli's lost heir, Eon, is the black sheep.The joy of pregnancy is Lost on her and without a backward glance, Eon escapes into thin air.

The 'book of lies' falls and is gone, but not forgotten on the road. The historians live one day at a time, prisoners of hope, because hope dies last...

I know. I want to read them too.