3:30 AM

I have learned in my 27 years of life that nothing good happens after 2 am. Well it is currently 3:30 am and I am still up. What's worse is that it is now Monday morning and I get to wake up in 4 hours to go to work. Shit.

My mind is racing because the government did something right and processed my passport in record time. I don't know why I'm surprised. I paid them enough. But here it sits next to me and I am completely jiggered. I wasn't planning on starting the ticket buying process until later this week when I assumed it would arrive. I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around this sudden change and calming down an ego who is currently freaking out.

I am excited. And nervous. And well, a myriad of other emotions. As I stand on the edge of the precipice that is my next adventure I am contemplating:

1. The Amazing Race and why I didn't follow through on submitting my video.

2. My dreams of becoming a children's book author and why I never seriously pursue it.

3. What I hope to gain from this journey.

4. What I have learned up to this point.

5. What I had for dinner that has kept me up this long.

It's lame. And awesome. I'm dreaming a lot right now, and for those of you who have heard some of my dreams, that can be a pretty wild adventure in and of itself. My brain is cataloguing and problem solving around the clock and there is very little I can do to slow it down. I don't want to slow it down. It needs to do it's thing, but seriously. It's 3:53 now and it's MONDAY.

I've decided to set out on my adventure on September 11 because, thanks to Americans and their phobias, it is a super cheap day to fly. *At this point I would like to pause and say hello to Big Brother because I've no doubt triggered some sort of homeland security alarm by using "Government, passport, ticket, nervous, precipice, follow through, September 11, Americans, fly, Big Brother" and now "Homeland Security" in this post. I'm glad you're here. My name is Summer and I'm just a 27-year-old who is in the middle of a dynamic quarter life crisis. Feel free to follow my adventures anonymously.  You might just find that you like the stability in your life, a lot. Ah heck, tell your friends. Terrorism, Al Qaeda, bomb and Bin Laden for President. Tomorrow should be a good day at the office for you. You're welcome.

So back to it, September 11 is the magic day in theory and it's coming up fast. I got to do something I've never done before yesterday. I entered my home city into Skyscanner and then selected "Everywhere" as my destination. THAT was liberating. The world is my oyster bitches. I sure hope I come out a pearl.

And that's all for now. I'll perhaps elaborate on my crisis at some other time, but for now I'm going to give sleep one last shot. Happy Monday everyone. I hope you had more hours to prepare than I.

Traveling

So I'm getting ready to travel and I'm pretty stoked. I sent my passport off for some upgrades last week and now I'm just sitting here waiting... Where will I go? What will I do? Will I get stranded? I hope so. Adventure is out there and I intend to find it.

One thing I love about traveling is the advice that comes in before you go. Every tidbit has it's own story that confirms it's validity.

Here's my list so far:

1. Drink Water. Unless it's brown or has things swimming in it.
2. Know what poison Ivy looks like. It's a bitch.
3. Try all of the things!
4. Listen to your instincts.
5. Brush up on military time.
6. Know how far your lodging is from major sites.
7. Don't ask what's in it. If it tastes delicious just say thank you.
8.  Travel until you get home sick, and then stay a few more weeks.

What would your advice be?

Things I shouldn't be doing at midnight

Midnight is a witching time for me.

I seem to come alive somewhere around 10:30 pm. That's when all of my creative and productive juices start to squeeze out of the fruits of my mind. I get urges to start art projects, run outside in the moonlight and tonight, apply for credit cards.

It's been on my list of things "To Do" for awhile. I've been putting it off because Dave Ramsey's face along with a giant pair of menacing scissors kept popping to mind every time I ventured onto a credit card site. I'd just like to take a moment to say "I'm debt free!!" because of Dave's magical debt snowball, but darn it! I'm will be traveling soon and I would like some cash-back rewards thank-you-very-much.

So there I was. At the end of my day. Feeling a little down because I didn't get all of the things on my list done when I thought, "Ah! What the hell? Let's look at the credit card options again and see what we find." So I looked at the two tabs I had open, because I assume they were the two options I was vacillating between and decided objectively on option 1, which was on tab 2. It was for people with "Excellent" credit.

Now I haven't had a credit card in awhile and as such I don't have the foggiest clue what my credit score is, but I thought I would flatter myself with an excellent one just for giggles. The worst that could happen would be rejection, and I figured I could handle that. So I filled out their form and played with artwork for awhile.  Did you know you can customize your card for free? I didn't and was therefore  delighted. Resisting the narcissistic urge to upload a duck faced image of myself I settled on a very sensible stock tree, but mirrored it so I could feel like I had some creative input in the process. I hit save and found myself back on the fill-in-the-blanks page. I scanned over my information once more, wincing as I passed over the "annual salary" and "current job" boxes. "They're going to rat me out for sure," I thought as my clicker unscrupulously checked the "Yes, I've read and agree with the terms and conditions... something about my unborn child... ya da ya da ya da" box. And suddenly I was on a page with a very polite thinking bar graph saying something about please waiting while authorization was processing.

"I should probably go to bed," I thought about 10 seconds in. "This will probably take..." and just like that, I had a credit card. I'm not entirely sure what I signed up for in the end, I'm just trusting that past Summer did her homework. We'll just have to see in 7-10 business days.

I have ADD it's a mental condition where, wait. Did I condition my hair this morning?

I have been fighting this stereotype for years. I know I have a hard time concentrating. Watching me in my office alone is a scary thing. I think scientists would be baffled for years if they tried to logically map the journey I go on from answering e-mails to organizing costumes. This of course is why it takes me days sometimes to complete tasks. All of them are getting done, just at the same time, and therefore it takes longer to get any one thing completed in a timely fashion.

This morning I was reminded of my condition when I decided to put up the laundry line. I had heard the dryer running and seeing that it was a gorgeous day decided to let Mother Nature help me with some of my chores. It is after all, her day. (Mother's Day. Not Earth Day. Just to clarify.) I needed to get tape to attach it to my balcony so I headed into the laundry room. Realizing that there were distractions in abundance en route I started chanting "Tape, tape, tape, tape" in hopes that I would remember my purpose when I arrived in the bathroom 15 feet and 5 seconds later.

I entered the bathroom chuckling to myself about the idiocy of it all and was about ready to open up the cupboard door when I glanced down and saw that the washing machine was empty. "Oh man!" I exclaimed. "I thought I had put a load in before I took Jasper out."

So, I went back into the hallway, picked up a pile of clothes and stuffed them into my tiny front loader. Satisfied that I had accomplished something very great indeed, I headed back to the kitchen where I stood in triumph drinking my morning cup of Earl Grey and staring at the Netflix screen.

"Why was I looking at Netflix?" I wondered, mainly because I generally don't enlist the time sucking companion unless I'm doing chores. "Oh no," I thought with dread. "What was I doing before this?" And that's when I heard the dryer. I need help.

Ridiculous or Awesome?

Raincoats for dogs? I can't tell if it's adorable or one of those things that "those" pet owners do. I do like imagining Jasper in one though. He would totally rock it. 

They have hoods! 

Yep. Ridiculous. 

I must have one. 

Resolutions

 A short list of things I ought to do this year.

1. Lose my cell phone less.
2. Finish stuff
3. Eat less sugar
4. Find an illustrator for my children's book
5. Read 12 books

The French

I love dreaming. If only because it is the once place I can act out my social deviance without recourse. Last night was a perfect example.

My family was at a restaurant in France. We were a slightly large group (about 7) so we were spread out over two tables. It was probably around 3 in the afternoon, we were the only customers there.


Enter The Waitress. Our waitress was the epitome of a disgruntled employee. Perhaps it was because it was nearly time for her to get off work when our party showed up, perhaps it was because the rest of the waitstaff was either playing cards in the back or sleeping in a sink full of warm water, (And no, this is not just conjecture. I saw it later on in the dream.) whatever the case she was annoyed with our presence and made no effort to hide it.

As we sat and waded through the extensive menu she slipped to the back where she stayed for an extended period of time returning for brief seconds to get the orders of those who "knew what they wanted" and ignoring those who had questions. "Excuse me, what's in the...." my Mom began. And she left. "Oh my," said Maum. I found something beginning to boil within me. This woman was rude. To my Maum. Not o.k.

When she came breezing back in I looked around at my family waiting calmly and expectantly for service and being completely ignored. You shouldn't say it Summer, conscience said, albeit quietly. I ignored her.

"You know," I said, "You probably would have gotten a really nice tip if you weren't such a Bitch." A fork dropped and I looked up to see Morm, Porp, and Michael staring at me with mouths agape and slightly amused expressions on their faces. Oops, I thought. Filter failure.  The Waitress paled and raced to the kitchen. A second thought occurred to me. I probably should have waited to say that until we had our food. 


What had I done? I don't say things like that to waitresses! I felt strangely empowered. I had chewed out a waitress. What else could I do‽ 


Now I don't know exactly what possessed me to do what I did next, maybe it was because The Waitress didn't answer any of our questions about the menu, maybe it was because I was nervous she was going to spit in my food, maybe I was just power tripping, but whatever the reason I decided to go into the kitchen and talk to the chef. Without asking for permission. 


So there I went, past the Maitre d', past the waitstaff, past random busboys curled up snoozing in the dishwashing sinks full of warm water, and up to the chef. He was lovely. Evidently we were suddenly in Russia, or it was really cold in the kitchen because Mr. Chef/Baker man was wearing a long furry coat.
I asked him if he would mind me hanging around for awhile because I was nervous about The Waitress. He told me to have a seat and look through his cook books. Long story short I learned a lot about cooking, found out that he made his own pasta, and forgot all about my mean waitress.

The end.