The Summer Time Journal

Resolutions

2012-01-13T10:39:00.000-08:00

A short list of things I ought to do this year.

1. Lose my cell phone less.
2. Finish stuff
3. Eat less sugar
4. Find an illustrator for my children's book
5. Read 12 books

The French

2011-12-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

I love dreaming. If only because it is the once place I can act out my social deviance without recourse. Last night was a perfect example.

My family was at a restaurant in France. We were a slightly large group (about 7) so we were spread out over two tables. It was probably around 3 in the afternoon, we were the only customers there.

Enter The Waitress. Our waitress was the epitome of a disgruntled employee. Perhaps it was because it was nearly time for her to get off work when our party showed up, perhaps it was because the rest of the waitstaff was either playing cards in the back or sleeping in a sink full of warm water, (And no, this is not just conjecture. I saw it later on in the dream.) whatever the case she was annoyed with our presence and made no effort to hide it.

As we sat and waded through the extensive menu she slipped to the back where she stayed for an extended period of time returning for brief seconds to get the orders of those who "knew what they wanted" and ignoring those who had questions. "Excuse me, what's in the...." my Mom began. And she left. "Oh my," said Maum. I found something beginning to boil within me. This woman was rude. To my Maum. Not o.k.

When she came breezing back in I looked around at my family waiting calmly and expectantly for service and being completely ignored. You shouldn't say it Summer, conscience said, albeit quietly. I ignored her.

"You know," I said, "You probably would have gotten a really nice tip if you weren't such a Bitch." A fork dropped and I looked up to see Morm, Porp, and Michael staring at me with mouths agape and slightly amused expressions on their faces. Oops, I thought. Filter failure. The Waitress paled and raced to the kitchen. A second thought occurred to me. I probably should have waited to say that until we had our food.

What had I done? I don't say things like that to waitresses! I felt strangely empowered. I had chewed out a waitress. What else could I do‽

Now I don't know exactly what possessed me to do what I did next, maybe it was because The Waitress didn't answer any of our questions about the menu, maybe it was because I was nervous she was going to spit in my food, maybe I was just power tripping, but whatever the reason I decided to go into the kitchen and talk to the chef. Without asking for permission.

So there I went, past the Maitre d', past the waitstaff, past random busboys curled up snoozing in the dishwashing sinks full of warm water, and up to the chef. He was lovely. Evidently we were suddenly in Russia, or it was really cold in the kitchen because Mr. Chef/Baker man was wearing a long furry coat.
I asked him if he would mind me hanging around for awhile because I was nervous about The Waitress. He told me to have a seat and look through his cook books. Long story short I learned a lot about cooking, found out that he made his own pasta, and forgot all about my mean waitress.

The end.

Jasper, Our Little Human.

2011-12-27T03:48:00.000-08:00

It's annoying when you're tired and can't sleep.

I think I'm dehydrated. My mouth is dry and my feet are thirsty.

I probably shouldn't be blogging in this state. You never know what could slip past my filter and run down my fingers and onto the page. Whatever. Good or bad here we go.

So I have been thinking for awhile how having a dog is very much like having a child (This coming from a childless individual who has been slightly phobic of children her entire life). Jasper is the most needy canine I have ever encountered. Perhaps he would be slightly more balanced if he wasn't an "only child" but I don't think so. This dog exhibits very human-like characteristics. Perhaps it's because Michael and I talk to him like he's a small furry person, perhaps it's because he's not actually a dog at all but an alien in dog's clothing, but whatever the case he's smart to a fault. And he's crafty.

Reasons Jasper is like a human:

#1. He sits.
Yes, yes. I know. All dogs sit. But not all dogs sit ON you. Jasper likes to park himself right on your lap, leg, back, whatever. He's like the toddlers I play with twice a month at MOPs. You sit down on the floor to see what they're up to and before you know it, you've got one on each knee and another in line. It's incredibly endearing in children. In Jasper? Once you remember that he isn't a child you catch yourself wondering, "Where on earth did he learn this?"

#2. He's an expert at positioning.
You're watching something on your computer. Jasper will come and stand right in front of the screen. Snuggling with The Captain on the floor in front of the couch? Right between you. He knows exactly where he needs to be to get attention.

#3. The life of the party.
Having a little soiree? Guess who is going to be vying for everyones attention all night? Exiling him to the lanai is not an option because he can still see you and we don't have enough cheese to go with that much whine. With a room full of people he will drive you mad with the amount of energy he can muster, but the minute people leave he's out cold. An amazing phenomenon.

#4. Guilt trips.
His face is outrageously expressive. He smiles. He frowns. He gives you the worst, "You're leaving me?" eyes ever. I'm going to be such a push over someday. Not saying that I'm going to leave my child at home. Alone. On the Lanai. Unattended...

#5. No telemarking.
It's been my experience, having grown up with dogs, that you can usually tell what's going on in a pup's head. They see a ball. Their tail starts to wag. They smile and get jumpy/whiny. "Throw the BALL!" The ball is thrown. Dog is elated. Roll credits.

This is not exactly Jasper's way of processing situations. 1. You hold out a chew toy and tell him to sit. 2. He sits, looking completely calm and collected. 3. You stare into his eyes and as you wonder how long he's going to stay like that he raises his eyebrows and bites your face off.

In the same vein, you never can tell what goes on in the mind of a child. One minute they're gurgly and happy, the next minute you have throw up all over you favorite purple shirt.

True story.

A lesson from Jasper

2011-12-19T01:34:00.000-08:00

I'm glad God isn't like me. Reason?

I took Jasper out for a romp and a pee this evening. It was a fairly standard outing. I let him off leash, he went snooping around the yard and then promptly disappeared.

When he emerged from the foliage a few minutes later he looked particularly impish so I went over to inspect his state of shenaniganry.

What I found was Jasper Lee in the banana bushes with the avocado.

"Oh great," I thought. "This will be fun."

"Jasper. Drop it."

Jasper, with mouth FULL of avocado, "Drop what?"

"Seriously? Drop it."

"What‽"

"Ok. You want to play it that way, fine. Yard time is over. And you are sooo in time out when we get back."

Jasper maintains his "I-don't-have-anything-in-my-mouth-especially-not-a-7-inch-avocado" face as we head back to the apartment.

I look at him and shake my head. I'm not going to let him in the house with this thing in his mouth. He's just going to drop it and its slimy innards on our once-white carpet. I sigh and try again.

"Jasper, off." Nothing. "Jasper, drop it." Nothing. "JASPER." I reach my hand down near his mouth.

"Growl."

"Oh, no you didn't," I say with loathing. He hasn't exactly caught me on one of my particularly patient days. In a split second Jasper takes two pirana bites, trying to get as much of the slimy mess down his gullet as possible. I snap.

"FINE! EAT IT! I hope it causes you extreme pain!!!"

In the process of swallowing, half of the avocado dropped out of his mouth. I darted in and plucked it from beneath him, neatly depositing it in the trash can nearby. "Don't you DARE throw that up on my carpet."

I'm so glad God isn't like me. I'm glad he is a God with heaps of patience who doesn't wish us physical harm when we are belligerent.

Currently Reading...

2011-11-13T20:59:00.000-08:00

1. Prayer90X By: Ivor Myers
An excellent companion to your regular P90X physical routine, this is a 90 day devotional to a more spiritually fit you. Excellent so far at the end of day 7. Would highly recommend.

2. Inheritance By: Christopher Paolini
Book the fourth of the Inheritance series. Started it this morning and am giddy about reading more about Alagaesia.

3. The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise By: Julia Stewart
A whimsical tale of a beefeater living in the Tower of London and how he is commissioned to turn it into a royal menagerie.

4. I'm debating what I should put in slot number four. The Hunger Games, Dahveed, or Blue Like Jazz.
So many choices...

Freudian Slip

2011-10-04T01:34:00.000-07:00

So this morning in staff worship I needed to make an announcement about how leaders should use me as a resource to get the materials they need for their WASC meetings. In my mind my announcement went something along the lines of, "Hey guys. I know you're really busy and don't have a lot of spare time to go tracking down obscure documents for your nighttime meetings, SO whenever you need something please feel free to come to me and I will do my best to get it for you."

Instead all that came out was, "Guys, please take advantage of me," followed by my head catching on fire. Brilliant.

Business Cards

2011-09-27T01:30:00.000-07:00

So I was playing around on Vistaprint this afternoon when I came to the conclusion that I want business cards for every situation. So using the templates they provided I did just that. Here are the results.

Captain Destructo Strikes Again

2011-08-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

So The Captain and I have been trying something new recently. Feeling slightly guilty about leaving dog face alone in a kennel for hours on end, we decided to try putting him out on our lanai instead. It was bigger, had a view and since we had cleared it off there was nothing on it for him to destroy, well except for the screen door but we weren't terribly worried about that.

From the get-go it was a great idea. He wasn't nearly so whiny and distressed when we left (not that he complained much to begin with) and he seemed much more contented in general.

Now weather I should or not, I, like most good mothers, seem to have an unwavering faith in my little dog-child. No matter how many times he has transgressed against us I am always willing to give him another chance, because I know that he has learned his lesson and won't do it again. The Captain on the other hand doesn't buy into this philosophy at all. He looks at Jasper and sees a juvenile delinquent who is poised and ready to strike whenever our backs are turned.

Keeping this in mind, there have been times over the past two weeks when hot days have made me think that closing the screen door alone would be sufficient. At these times however The Captain has nicely yet firmly reminded me that our dog is a villain and that if we planned on having a working screen door upon our return we had better just use the glass door instead. "Oh posh!" I've thought to myself in those moments. "He hasn't destroyed anything in weeks! I'm sure he would leave it alone." But in the back of my mind, common sense and Cesar Millan tell me not to set my dog up for failure and so I conceded and lock him in his glass cage.

Well this morning while The Captain and I were at work and Jasper was home on the lanai we had a rainstorm of epic proportions. Jasper hates water falling from the sky. I'm guessing it gives him terrifying flashbacks to his most recent shower. In any case this is what I came home to.

Evidently before we left this morning we shut both doors instead of just one. The result? I get to learn how to apply screen to a sliding door. It's okay though. I'm sure he won't do it again.

Skydiving!!!

2011-07-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

So, we went skydiving and it was amazing! Here are some pictures. Sorry there is no photographic proof that we actually jumped. They wanted an extra $100 for photos. Please...

The place where it all went down.

Chute packing station.

The jumpers!

Getting strapped in.

Me and my instructor Carson.

Goggles!!

Me and Dell in free-fall position.

Michael and instructor Bryan.

The reassuring warning on the back of our harnesses.
"Parachute systems sometimes fail to operated correctly even when properly manufactured assembled, packed and operated. You risk serious injury or even death each time you use this system."
Yeah. Ok.

Jumpers away!

We made it!!!

Doing my part for the environment

2011-07-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

I was just going to throw the bag away when I remembered that I owed it to the environment to recycle, reduce and reuse.

Chocolate Croissant

2011-06-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

So Kristy was working the register the other day when a man from Arkansas came up, looked in the pasty case and said, "I would like one of that them thar chocolate croissants please."

"Ok sir, No problem." Kristy said. "That's going to be $5.08"

The good sir paid, took his chocolate croissant and left the store.

About 5 minutes later he returned.

"Um, I'm gonna need a refund for this here chocolate croissant."

Kristy looked from him to the two bites of pasty left in his hand. "Uh, what seems to be the problem sir?" She asked wondering what could possibly be wrong since he's eaten 9/10ths of it.

"Well, I didn't realize that this croissant had chocolate in it and I gave it to my girlfriend and she's afraid that the chocolate is going to make her fat so I'm just going to need to get a refund."

Kristy stared at him in disbelief for a half second and then with some considerable will power mastered hers snarky remarks and relied, "Sir I'm very sorry. I don't know what I can do for you. We can't give refunds on pastries and the label does say that it's a CHOCOLATE croissant. That, and there is chocolate on top of it..."

"I, I know. But I didn't realize that there would be chocolate inside..."

"I'm very sorry sir. But I'm afraid I can't do anything for you. Have a nice day."

When did this behavior become acceptable?

Jasper Drinks Tea

2011-06-24T00:33:00.000-07:00

Jasper has really made leaps and bounds in his development but two months ago he was not so wise.

It was a Saturday night and Michael and I had friends over to play games. We had been playing awhile when I decided to get myself a cup of tea. MMMmmmm. Tea. Yummy.

When I sat down Jasper came over and we had the following exchange.

"Hey. Hey Mom. Mom. Mom. What's that? What's that? Mom. What's that?"

"Jasper no. That's hot." (Gently pushing him away from the steaming mug) "No."

"Hey, what is it?" (Licks the steam from the air) "It looks....interesting!"

"Buddy, no. It's Hot." (Push away)

"I want it!!!"

"NO."

"Food!!!"

"You really don't want this."

"Want. Want. WANT!"

"FINE."

"Yea!!"

Elated Jasper pressed forward and took a lick, and much to his shock and surprise it was HOT. He backed up and looked at me in utter betrayal.

"Why did you let me drink that?!"

If this is what having kids is like, bring it on.

The off-board filter

2011-06-06T01:44:00.000-07:00

So, as I mentioned before my dear friend Kristy has temporarily lost her filter. Thankfully she married one named Tim.

Tim is wonderfully understanding of Kristy's temporary handicap and has started honing his "cleanup" skills. Gentlemen if you have a wife that is, or will soon be pregnant you might want to work on this phrase. When she does something that you and everyone else around you knows is slightly crazy or just plain rude, wait until she has stormed away, put on your most charming grin point in her direction and say, "I'm sorry. She's pregnant."

No Filter

2011-06-06T01:06:00.000-07:00

Let's play a game. Close your eyes and imagine that you are standing in line at the bank. It's about 10 in the morning and there are two people ahead of you. As you're waiting for the next teller the man in front of you farts so loudly that unless you were deaf there is no way that you couldn't have heard him. What do you do?

Pregnant people amuse me greatly. A couple weeks ago my barista friend Kristy discovered that she was pregnant. Now Kristy is a wonderful woman. She has a kind heart, a good sense of humor and is going to make an excellent mother. That said, I have noticed that since she started manufacturing her mini-me her "Filter" has been switched off. You know the one I'm talking about. The little mechanism that keeps all those snarky remarks inside your head from coming out your mouth? Yep. That's the one. It's off.

Now, awhile back I was reading through my Zobmondo book when I came across this scenario: "Would you rather always have say what's on your mind or never say what's on your mind?" I thought about it for awhile and decided to go for the latter option. Mainly because I have far too many wicked thoughts running around upstairs and being forced to say them would probably land me in the hospital. I never considered pairing the former option with pregnancy. Pregnant women can get away with just about anything.

That said, let's return to the bank where Kristy stands in line behind the man who has just dropped the biggest bomb since Hiroshima. Her internal monologue went like this, "Oh, My, G-D...! That. Is. Rancid!" At the window teller number one is finishing with his customer, "That will be twenty...-chuckle-...twenty one, two, -laughter- and three." Teller number one succumbs to laughter followed shortly by teller number two, and it is then that Kristy realizes that her internal monologue was not internal at all. Oh no. In fact it was incredibly external and everyone has heard what she has said, including the man in front of her who is now beet red.

This is going to be the most memorable 9 months ever.

Jasper reads?

2011-05-15T23:42:00.000-07:00

So last week I was browsing thru my books when I came across one of my favorites, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. The last time I read it was in College. During Mid-terms. It wasn't the best idea I ever had. -grins- I had no self control whatsoever and became a hermit in my free time for about a week. It was lovely. Anyway, I was in need of a good read so I picked it up and said goodbye to The Captain for a few evenings.

Now The Captain is used to my reading retreats. He understands that every once in awhile I need to lose myself in a good book. He has become acquainted with my random outbursts of laughter and tears and knows that if he needs to reach me when I'm in the zone he may have to wait until the end of a sentence/paragraph/whatever.

Jasper on the other hand is not familiar with this "reading" thing. He sees an object that is occupying more of my time than him and gets jealous. While I was reading he had his own way of telling me that it was time to put the book down.

When that didn't work he tried this instead.

The little punk. Of course he ate the pages I was just about to read.

This Face

2011-05-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

Dear dog owners,

Be advised. If you see this face:

(Note the forehead wrinkles of shame)

Something you love has just been demolished.

Exhibit A:

Magic

2011-04-11T00:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a little bit of fun for you music lovers out there. Oh, and people with coffee breaks too. Ah, and also for people with boring jobs. Or awesome ones. This will be good for you too.

THE MUSIC BOARD courtesy of Nothing is True.

Jasper Eats Homework

2011-04-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

So Michael left Jasper alone in the apartment for about 20 minutes today to go down to the school to get a massage. When he got home Jasper had torn into a stack of papers Michael was grading. This means he get's to tell his students tomorrow that his dog ate their homework.

Best. Ever.

Jasper Redecorates

2011-04-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

So the Captain and I were bad parents this week. Last Sunday we made plans to play paintball with a military friend of ours who was transferring off the island. My limited experience with paintball told me that the adventure would have us out of the house for 2-3 hours and that it would be perfectly acceptable for us to leave Jasper alone for that time. Well, it took us a little longer than expected. When we stood in front of our door 7 hours later ripe with bruises, dread overtook us. "Oh please Lord. Let us still have a living room."

When we opened the door... oh I wish we had taken a picture. It was pure chaos. There stood Jasper surrounded by all sorts of rubbish, looking up at us as if to say, "Hello parents!! Look what I did to the living room! Don't you just love it?!" The rascal had taken it upon himself to pee four times on the carpet, gnaw through our Rosetta Stone headset and the power chord to Michael's computer and toss paper all over the living room. It turns out that the paper we found came from Michael's Bible, which lay in a state of disarray surrounded by family history and preface pages. The cover had been torn from the binding and a chunk had been taken out of the spine but upon close examination we discovered that no text had been damaged so Michael dusted it off and took it to school where it would be safe.

Looking at the mess we were astonished but not angry. I mean, what can you really do at that point? It was our fault that we had left him alone for 7 hours and while he knows he's not supposed to pee on the carpet there was no point in scolding him because he would have no idea what it was for. So we picked up the pieces and resolved to put EVERYTHING up the next time we left the house. Absolutely everything.

Sabbath morning nap shot

2011-04-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

I don't even know how this happened.

All I know is that I want more of it.

Casualties

2011-03-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that when people get puppies they complain about them tearing up shoes, socks, underwear, furniture, or their favorite (insert item here). While Jasper has shredded more than his share of toilet paper and training pads he really hasn't been terribly destructive when it comes to personal items. That was until a few days ago.

It was Sunday morning and I had an early shift at the coffee shop. Michael was sound asleep (as most people are at 5 in the morning on a Sunday) when he heard a colossal crash come from inside the bathroom. He pulled himself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom to find that Jasper, no doubt fascinated by my dangling necklaces, had pulled my jewelry tree off the counter and sent it crashing to the floor sending my bangles flying hither and yon.

When the mess had been cleaned up Michael went about the process of trying to match up earrings. One set had been completely demolished, and several others were missing their mates. When I came home later and surveyed the damage I found that Jasper had really only been responsible for ruining two sets and that the other singular earrings had been that way for awhile.

"Now where have their matches gone?" I wondered. There has to be a place for wayward earrings like there is for socks who visit the dryer. I don't know how it happens, but it always seems to. You have a pair of earrings that you just love and then one day one of them goes missing, never to be seen or heard from again. And then the question arrises, what do you do with its mate? Do you keep it in hopes that one day the other will turn up? (Which never happens) Do you keep it in memory of what you once had? Do you try and make one that would work as a stand in? I think someone needs to come up with some clever ideas on things we can do with single earrings.

30 Before 30

2011-03-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

1. 4 hair colors in one year
2. Shave my head
3. 2nd tattoo
4. Study ballet
5. Join a flash mob
6. Take a last minute flight
7. Take a trip with the girls
8. Write and publish a children's book
9. Secret Goal
10. Be able to do 10 pull ups
11. Figure out which eyeshadow works for me
12. Become bilingual
13. Slap someone in the face. Hard.
14. Go on a cattle drive
15. Buy a piece of art
16. Learn hard shoe Irish dance
17. Start my own business
18. Pursue a patent
19. Improve my knitting skills
20. Get a dog
21. Be a waitress
22. Take up yoga
23. Be someone's bridesmaid
24. Buy a live animal at the grocery store and set it FREE!
25. Take an ultralight ride
26. Go to Greece
27. Learn all the words to a rap song
28. Do the splits
29. Violate an unspoken social rule
30. Have a murder mystery party

Tsunami watch

2011-03-11T01:12:00.000-08:00

Hey all! Michael and I just wanted to send out a quick word to all of our family and friends to let you know that as of 11:11 p.m. Thursday evening WE ARE ALIVE and doing just fine. (Well Jasper is trying to attack us but that can't be helped.)

The homeland sirens went off at 9 when Daddy called. He was watching the 11:00 news when he was bombarded with reels from the Japan earthquake. "Hey, I just wanted to call to let you guys know that Hawaii has had a Tsunami watch issued." "Really?" Michael and I had been out on date night and had no idea what was happening. By 10 p.m. when the Tsunami evacuation sirens went off we were not part of the panicked hoard.

It's kinda fun really. We're having a good time watching live coverage from the safety of our 3rd story apartment. I texted my stand-in boss at 10:15, "Hey, sorry it's so late, but is it safe to say with the tsunami warning that Peet's will be closed tomorrow?" His reply, "No, we'll be open as long as we can. What time is it scheduled for?" "3 a.m." "Ok. At 4:30 we'll know. lol. If Wikes is drowned, no work."

I may get fired tomorrow.

We love you and will try and keep you updated!

Jasper's Tricks

2011-03-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

Yep. I'm THAT pet owner who posts videos about her dog. If I wasn't so proud that he learned these tricks in a single day I would probably hate myself. Sorry the quality is poor. And yes, to nip the snarky remarks about 'dogs doing anything for treats' in the bud, he can perform these tricks without treats as well. Be amazed.

New Direction?

2011-03-07T17:27:00.000-08:00

Well, hu. I'm a little lost folks.

Most of you know that I've been looking into going back to school for massage. At the end of January I researched several programs and found one that fit my schedule and budget needs. The program was due to begin in early February but when the day of registration came and I called to check the time, I was told that the program director had gone to Japan to speak with the governing board about the program and that February's classes had been postponed until early March.

"Ok," I thought. "This is actually better. Now I will have time to accustom myself to the idea of going back to school."

Well, February passed in a blur with guests and the acquisition of Jasper and evidently March started a week ago. Late Friday night, I realized that the admissions people had said the program would resume in early March and that very easily could mean Monday. But no one had been in contact. So, did it?

Knowing that the offices would be closed all weekend I knew I was up a small creek because I worked Monday and wouldn't be able to call and check until at least 11:30 am, and the afternoon classes started at 12:30pm. That would leave me very little time to get home, showered, fed and out the door after work.

Well, today dawned and of course things ran late at work, but I made it home in enough time to feed, water and bathe myself before I took off to class. As I performed these tasks I continued to think about the whole situation, and found that I was feeling a little less enthusiastic about this particular program than I was at the start. I narrowed it down to two reasons:

There seemed to be a huge lack of initiative on the part of the school to keep its applicants updated to program changes. (Very unprofessional indeed.)
The thought of leaving Jasper home alone for so long each day made me feel more than a little neglectful.

These reasons made me decide NOT to go in today, but rather to call instead. I'm glad I did. What I discovered was this: The school is going through some serious changes and the recruiters don't really know what's going on. Evidently "Ye old Program Director" is STILL in Japan reviewing the program which may or may not begin in again in May, or perhaps June. Sometime this Summer. "But it looks like the tuition is going to be cheaper! A lot cheaper actually..." How compelling.

Needless to say I'm not impressed, and cheaper tuition or no I will be looking for another program. Let the search begin again.

Cold.

2011-03-02T20:08:00.000-08:00

I think I'm coming down with something. Maybe it's a sympathy cold. I took Jasper to the vet today because he has had a noticeably runny/sneezy nose for the past few days. They tell me that he has the beginnings of an upper respiratory infection. Sad face! So the wee lad goes on antibiotics for a week.

As stupid as it sounds (-Sighs and shakes head- You know this is going to be less than intelligent.) when my throat started getting a little scratchy this morning at work my first thought was that I caught Jasper's cold. Heck! If we can catch things from birds and swine, why not dogs?

I didn't need to worry however. According to Dr. Shelley Rankin, assistant professor of microbiology at the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine, "The virus that causes the common cold in humans is species-specific, which means you can't spread it to your dog or cat, nor can you get it from them."

Whew. That takes a load off.

#1 or #Eww ?

2011-02-28T22:58:00.000-08:00

Puppies pee a lot. A lot, a lot. I have cleaned up more pee in 6 days than I ever thought possible. I swear this puppy's urinary system can be filled and emptied like a water gun. In most dogs water passes through at a normal, perhaps human speed. I'm fairly certain that when Jasper ingests water is dumps straight from his throat into his bladder, ready to fire at a moment's notice. You know how I know this is true? It's cold when I clean it up scant seconds after it has "left the gun."

Puppies also poop. I hesitate to share this story because it is slightly graphic but I was so shocked and horrified that I had to take a picture. This afternoon I was in the kitchen talking with one of my friends on skype when I realized that I had not checked on Jas in about 2 minutes and he was being eerily quiet. I excused myself and stepped into the living room to find him in the act of "dropping the kids off at the pool," minus the pool.

"JASPER! NO!" I scolded, clapping my hands together loudly. This startled him off his perch and only then did I see what he had defecated on.

Of all the places he could have gone, he chose to poo ON TOP of one of his favorite chew toys that I had made him. I didn't know whether to be furious or impressed at his aiming abilities.

Jasper finds his voice

2011-02-28T22:27:00.000-08:00

For the first five days that Jasper spent with us I was convinced that he was mute. From the moment he set his paws on our apartment floor he was silent. Even at night when we shut him into the bathroom he did not whimper, bark or scratch. (I think maybe it had to do with the fact that he spent some time at the humane society and adjusted to solitude there.) Well, yesterday he found his voice. The captain and I were sitting on the floor minding our own business when suddenly a few sharp yips cut through the silence. We looked up and saw what had startled our mute puppy. It was a VERY scary pink plastic bag. No doubt very deadly. I'm glad to know that he knows an intruder when he see's one.

Doggie!

2011-02-25T23:06:00.000-08:00

We adopted a puppy this week. His name is Jasper and he's the greatest puppy in the world!

I must have been completely puppy struck because the fact that he peed like a waterfall didn't bother me in the least. Well, ok. After the 10th time he peed on the carpet I was a little tired of the act but I still loved him utterly and completely.

Here is a picture of the little man who stole my heart.

HMA Christmas Banquet 2010

2010-12-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

One fun thing about being a teacher's wife is that you get to get dolled up now and again for banquets. This banquet was by far the most elaborate I've been to, bar none. The banquet coordinator at HMA really outdid herself. These pictures don't show the full extent of the table decorations nor the room itself but it still gives a brief glimpse into the night.

In true banquet fashion The Captain got creative when he asked me to go with him.

In the car driving to the hotel in Waikiki.

The table decorations before the swag was added.

The clever centerpieces.

Our banquet photo. Probably the most fun I had taking one. All the photographers thought that we were students, which was totally awesome except for the fact that they were going to make us pay for the photos. Tsk tsk tsk. No, no. -shakes head- That didn't do at all.

All in all this was the most stress free banquet I've attended. I bought my dress 4 hours before the event, did my hair 2 hours before and since The Captain is an ASHMA sponsor we didn't have to pay for anything except the valet parking. Best date night ever! (Well before our date night with Dog that is...)

Date night with Dog the Bounty Hunter

2010-12-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

I don't even know how to start writing this story. My head is still reeling. All I can say is that it was the most memorable date night ever.

As stories like this go the more people see it, the better it gets. Here's the story from my point of view.

It was a quiet evening and Michael and I were sitting in our living room watching The Biggest Loser. We had decided to stay in rather than go out because his allergies had been giving him grief all day and he was exhausted.

As we sat relaxing on the sofa I suddenly found that it was getting hard to breathe. Each breath I took felt like tiny needles were pricking the insides of my lungs. I started to cough, and cough and cough some more. I was about to get up to get a drink of water when Michael started coughing too. As I struggled to the sink I started to think of what could possibly be going on. The last time I had experienced something like this we were in Thailand and had accidentally walked into the kitchen when they were flash-frying chili peppers. The spices in the air had left us coughing and sputtering and wanting to curl up on the floor in fits of agony.

Trying to escape the toxic air inside our apartment we made our way out onto our front porch only to find a more than disheveled man making his way up the stairs.

"Please, call the cops!" he said coming toward me. "Please! Can I come in and use your phone? Please!?"

I took a moment to look this stranger over. He was in his late 40's early 50's. An islander. Long stringy black hair that was starting to grey. He was wearing a tank top with what looked to be sports tape wrapped around his torso, as if he had broken a few ribs and tried to fix it himself. Blue checkered shorts. No shoes. Conclusion: He looked a little homeless and more than a little desperate.

As I sat there wondering what Jesus would do, I saw another man languidly coming up the steps behind him. His assailant perhaps? I took a step back towards our front door and seriously considered harboring the man who continued to ask us for use of our telephone. I took one more quick glance at the man coming up behind.

He was tall. Dressed in black and wearing a vest of some sort. He had something shiny on his chestand had handcuffs tucked into the back of his pants. Conclusion: He kind of looked like a cop. Why then was this man asking us to call one? Interesting. Quick realization. If he the man in black had handcuffs, he may have a gun too.

"I'll call the cops for you, but I'm sorry. We can't let you inside," I said as I stepped back into the house with Michael right behind me. He locked the door and the coughing redoubled.

"We (cough) need (cough) to call (cough) the cops." Silence, minus the coughing. "Honey?" I asked.

"Hi," said Michael on the phone behind me. "I'm at (insert address here) and there's a man outside who asked us to call the police. There's something in the air that's making it hard for us to breathe. That's why I'm coughing. Uh hu. Uh hu. Ok."

Meanwhile, I heard my name being called from our lanai.

"Summer! Come out here, the air is better." It was our neighbor, Maria. She and her husband, brother and two little girls were out on their lanai as well. "Go get a wet cloth and hold it over your mouth. It helps a lot."

I ducked inside again to grab a towel. People were still yelling outside our front door. Every few seconds I heard the middle aged man yell, "Call the cops! You've got the wrong guy!" and I hear the tall dark creature respond, "Then why did you run man?"

I headed back to the porch and started breathing thru the cloth. Michael was still inside on the phone with the police so I called him outside where we sat and chatted with our neighbors for a while, trying to sort out what was going on. Before long curiosity overtook me and gunman or no I make my way back to the front of the apartment.

From the safety of our front room Michael and I witnessed this. I've cut out most of the colorful language for PG-13 viewing.

Needless to say, it was a date night we won't soon forget.

Star Trekkin'

2010-12-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

So the other morning I was working when a couple came in and asked for some Kona coffee. Working at a coffee shop in Hawaii, one wouldn't think this to be a terribly strange request since Kona is a local favorite, however most people back out of their order when they discover that it costs $8.60 for the press pot. This couple however didn't seem to have any problems with it and settled in for the 5-10 minute wait it would take to brew.

Things were pretty slow at the time so as the Kona was steeping I struck up a conversation with them. The exchange went something like this,

"So where are you folks headed today?"
"Oh," said the man. "We're headed up to, uh, somewhere on the north western side of the island I think. We're going to be doing some diving."
"Scuba?" I inquired.
"Yeah," said the woman.
"Business or pleasure?" I asked
"Well, both actually," he said.
"How's that?" I asked. "Are you marine biologists or something?"
"No, not really," the man replied. "We have a company that introduces people who are really into science fiction and space exploration to scuba diving. Since being under water is the closest thing to weightlessness that you can get, we find that it's a great way to get people out into the real world and living their fantasies."

I laugh a little, because it's the coolest thing I've heard in quite some time. "That's. Awesome," I say and mean it whole heartedly. The vision of overweight Trekkies jelly-fishing around underwater in search of new life and new civilizations is enough to make me collapse in fits of merriment. Why hadn't I thought of something like that myself? As I wondered how silicon Spock ears would hold up in salt water the conversation steered in other directions and before long their coffee was finished and we parted ways.

The next day I was working the register again when the same man came in with the two cups he had purchased the day before and set them down on the counter.
"That Kona worked out really well yesterday," he says. "Let's do it again."
"Alright!" I say with a smile and ring him up.

As he fishes for his money I notice that his shirt has this logo on it. "Hey," I say remembering his Trekkie scuba business from the day before "That's awesome! It's like Star Trek!"
"Yeah," he says almost sheepishly. "My dad invented Star Trek."

Silence.

"Your dad invented Star Trek?" I repeated back to him raising an eyebrow. "Well that's one I haven't heard today. 'My dad invented Star Trek.'" I chuckle and take his money.

"Yeah, well, I loved scuba before I knew anything about Star Trek," he says. I laugh wondering if that could be even remotely true since PADI's age requirement is 10 and NAUI's age requirement is 12, but knowing that I wouldn't want to be defined by the the accomplishments of a famous parent myself, I decided to let it be. "That's really cool," I say laughing. We chat about scuba for a little while longer and then part ways. "I'm totally going to google him when I get home," I think to myself as he leaves.

For one reason or another I didn't. The next morning there he was again like clock work. He puts his cups down, I ring up his Kona, and we chat. "So how was your dive yesterday?" I ask. "It was good!" He says. "When are you guys headed out?" "Oh, tomorrow," he replies. "That's a bummer!" I say, "We'll be sad to see you go!" and I mean it. He really has been the most interesting customer I've had in awhile. Well, other than Jonah the dreadlocked landscaper, but we'll talk about him later.

"Hey, do you have a card?" I ask as he's getting ready to go. "I want to look you up and see what your business is all about." "Sure!" he says whipping out his wallet and handing over his card. I take a brief glance and tuck it into my back pocket. "Thanks!" I say. "No problem," he replies smiling.

As he fixes up his coffee a few minutes later at the bar he catches my attention and says, "Hey, you know you should really get SCUBA certified. That way next time we're in town we can take you out diving with us!" My eyes turn into little gum drop buttons. "Yes, " I say. "I will DEFINITELY look into that." He waves and smiles. "Bye Eugene! We'll see you later." I say.

Later that day I pulled his card out of my pocket. On one side it read, "Eugene "Rod" Roddenberry, President, Dive Master" on the other side it read "Eugene "Rod" Roddenberry, President, CEO"

"Oh gosh..." I said out loud, smacking myself on the forehead "I called him 'Eugene'..."

One more vote

2010-11-19T12:41:00.000-08:00

So I have been looking into the possibility of going back to school to study massage. Yesterday I met with a recruiter for a local university and had a tour of the campus.

He was really friendly and used my name a lot in conversation throughout our time together so I found it marvelously funny when, at the end of the interview he said, "It was great to meet you. I look forward to hearing back from you about what you decide. Take care Heather." I walked out the door and broke into laughter.

SUPing

2010-11-18T21:41:00.000-08:00

So I tried Stand Up Paddle boarding today and let me tell you, on a scale of 1-10: One being "Never going to do THAT again," and ten being, "Yeah, I just worked a 12 hour shift and it's 3 in the morning, but I could probably squeeze an hour in," I would go for eleven with an added hour of excitement.

Yesterday a few guys from work told me that they were going to go surfing today and I was welcome to come along if I wanted. I wanted. I went. It rocked.

Stand Up Paddle boarding is totally my cup of tea. Surfing, while no doubt very good for you and totally awesome once you get the knack of it, is painfully difficult to learn when you have arms of my caliber. SUPing, yes as lame as that sounds I'm going to use this acronym-suffix combination, plays more to my strengths: 1. Paddling 2. Balancing and 3. Standing up.

For a first timer I don't think I did too bad. My friend Colorado Nick took me out at first so I could get a feel for the board. We looked something like this:

Ok. That's a lie and we all know it. A more appropriate posture was something more akin to this:

...except I was sitting, not standing on the front, and I was wearing a top. And I wasn't a man. Anyway you get the idea.

After paddling around for awhile we rowed, pardon, paddled back to shore and dropped him off while I went out da solo. It was suh-weeeet! I totally caught a wave and rode it a good distance before biting it. I saw a turtle, I didn't get sunburned despite the fact that I wasn't wearing sunscreen, and I am properly sore now from paddling! All in all it was a fantastic first go-round.

Catch phrase

2010-11-17T21:14:00.001-08:00

I was playing "Know me fast" Sunday morning with some new friends when this question came up. "What is your favorite catch phrase or slogan?" I had to think about it for awhile and when I answered I still hadn't come up with anything pithy or clever. Not being able to deliver on command always gets my goat because I like being clever. Kind of like I like being fed. If a decision ever had to be made between food and cleverness, cleverness would most certainly win out. At least for a day or two.

A clever person is someone whose whit is on par with their knowledge or intelligence insofar as all of those variables are high. There are of course individuals whose whit and intelligence are equal but very low, and they are not clever. (Or if they are it is oftentimes by accident or somewhat tragic.) But I digress. Let's get back to the original question of favorite catch phrases or slogans.

There are so many of them out there that entire volumes have been dedicated to recording and explaining them. Many stem from popular T.V. shows or movies, while others have withstood the test of time in the form of idioms and maxims. In the quest to find the one I like the best I have read hundreds with varying degrees of cleverness and originality. For funzies I resurrected many phrases out of the 90's because I thought a trip down memory lane would be fun. Here is a sampling in no particular order:

"The wisdom of nations lies in their proverbs, which are brief and pithy." -William Penn

"The secret of many a man's success in the world resides in his insight into the moods of men and his tact in dealing with them." - J.G. Holland

(Those by definition were not catch phrases but I liked them so I put them in. My blog. My rules. Now we shall move on to our nation's "wisdom." Heaven help us.)

"It's going to be legen- wait for it and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is -dairy! Legendary!"

"Six of one, half dozen of the other."

"The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"I'll be back."

"That was easy."

"But my lips hurt real bad!"

"Can you hear me now?"

"Psych!"

"No duh!"

"No doi!"

"Oh snap!"

"What up?!"

"High five!"

"Right on!"

"That was sick!"

"Bite me."

"Wicked."

"Wicked awesome."

"Shut down!"

"Cool beans!"

"No way!"

"Gosh!" (Said like Napoleon Dynamite)

"Totally."

"What the what?!"

"Suh weeeet!"

"It's all good."

"Da bomb."

"That's Phat!"

"Peace out."

"Chill." (Or "Take a chill pill.")

"My bad."

"...not!"

"You go girl!"

"Playa!"

"Happy happy, joy joy"

"As if!"

"Fail."

"...just saying."

"Meh."

So what's my favorite? A phrase I just can't get enough of? That always makes me laugh inside and makes even the most mundane situations better and that also negates any clever bone in my body?

"That's what she said."

Eyes appointments

2010-11-08T13:46:00.000-08:00

So the captain's eye exploded this weekend and we can't figure out what caused it. Friday morning he woke up and his obicularis occuli muscle was aching. By that evening it had swelled a noticeable amount and we had entered the "I'm hideous. Don't look at me" stage. Very sad.

Sabbath morning the swelling had lessened slightly but it was still achy. Being the trooper that he is, he decided to ride it out and see if it would get any better. -Shrugging non-commitally- It didn't get worse but it was still a nuisance by that evening so we decided to go to urgent care on Sunday or a doctor by Monday.

Let me tell you, it is a pain in the butt to find a physician on our insurance. I was under the impression that Adventist Health was an easy system to navigate and find physicians in but I am about ready to tear out my hair. I have spent the entire morning trying to track down a doctor that takes our insurance, which is ridiculous because I was calling numbers on the approved physician list.

I was hoping to find one in Honolulu but after calling around I am now having to drive all the way to Kailua to get what we need done. Clearly I am not seeing something here.

Some loose photos

2010-10-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through my pictures and found a few to share.

Stairway to Heaven viewpoint.

I can say with absolute certainty that this was September 15. I've always thought that this man aged well, but he's looking a little advanced for a one-year-old.

The Blue Angels. They were every bit as loud and amazing as when I saw them as a little tyke.

Pretty sure that they're at the amount of G's a normal person throws up at.

Couldn't resist.

All six in formation.

At Tantalus with the 'rents!

Doggie on beach.

Big waves on North Shore.

Senior Survival in Action

2010-10-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

When you go through Pathfinders, standard first aid training or wilderness survival you might catch yourself yawning in the back of an info session thinking, "Yes, this is fun. But when am I ever going to use this?" Your instructors look at you knowingly and tell you that you will never know when the need will arise so to sit up and pay attention, so you do. You never know when you will need it...

It was Friday afternoon. Michael and I stood at the bottom of Olomana, a three tiered peek in Kailua, with five excited teenagers ready to climb. Michael had set up this outing for one of his classes who had expressed an interest in climbing the peek together. As it so happened, only two members of that particular class were in attendance but the remaining three were every bit as excited to be there.

We would be climbing the tallest peek on the left.

After checking in with the guard at the gate, and being warned to watch out for wild boar and the fierce winds at the top of the peeks, out motley crew set out for adventure, our spirits high and feet determined.

The hike up was hot yet steady. Michael hiked at the front and I at the back. We stopped periodically for water, rest and scenery breaks and before long we had made our way up to the top. The view was breathtaking. You could see everything from Waimanalo in the south to Chinaman's hat up north. The ocean in front of us was a vivid cerulean blue and the green of the Ko'olau mountain range at our backs made you feel as if you had stepped into the Emerald City in Oz. It was one of those places where you could close your eyes and imagine that you were in the garden of Eden.

As we began our decent we made note of a few things. One was that it was 4 p.m. and we had told the parents we would be back by 4:30 p.m. Since it had taken us an hour and a half to get up and about 25 minutes to drive to the trailhead, we waved goodbye to our estimated return time, figuring that the parents would rather have their children back in once piece as opposed to not at all. (At least this was my train of thought.) The second thing we noted was that getting down the mountain could be just as challenging as going up. The grade was steep and numerous protruding roots made the trail uneven and somewhat treacherous. We all would need to be careful.

Our group began its decent shortly after 4 and broke off into slightly scattered groups of twos and three. I took off in the lead with the student I had hiked up with figuring that the others would catch up soon and we would finish at about the same time. As time went on however and we continued to hike, there was no sign of other members of our group. Nearing the end of the trail, we stopped and waited for about 10 minutes but then continued on to the guard station when mosquitoes began their dinner with a vengeance. Again we waited but no one came. After awhile we saw two people coming and I noticed that they were the couple who had been behind our group while we were hiking. As they passed I asked them if they had seen anyone on their way down to which the woman replied, "Oh! Were you apart of the group with the girl that sprained her ankle?" Cold sweat. Deep breath. Action plan. Call Michael.

"Hello, this is Michael."

"Hey honey. What's going on?"

What was going on was this. As my charge and I were racing down the mountain, somewhere a little over halfway up one of our girls had stepped wrong and turned her ankle. When Michael got to her, he assessed the situation and found that it was just a bad sprain, but sprains as we all know can be just as debilitating as breaks when you're on a mountain. Getting out his first aid kit he had gone to work trying to immobilize her ankle, but nothing seemed to be working. "Can you come up and set it for us?" he asked.

"Sure," I said. "I'll be right up." Hanging up the phone, I looked at my charge. He was tuckered out. The first climb up had been challenge enough for him, say nothing of an encore. But knowing that I couldn't leave him alone with a complete stranger, the man at the guard station, I looked at him sympathetically and said, "I'm sorry man, but we've got to go."

All I've got to say is that God is good. On our second trip up the mountain we both got a second wind. I was pushing hard, but knew that if I over did it, we would have two injured kids to deal with and not just one. But he just kept on going, one foot after another. Such a brave little soldier.

As we walked I was racking my brain for ideas on how to set her ankle. At one point in college I had studied to be a physical therapist and one of the classes I took dealt with sports injuries. As I went over what needed to be done in my head I realized that I had none of the materials I needed to do the job properly. What was I going to do? It was like I had been in a huge natural disaster and had nothing to work with... And that's when it hit me. Senior survival. Looking around I started searching for the materials that I would need. By the time we finally reached Michael I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to do.

Seeing that dusk was approaching, Michael had stopped waiting for us and started carrying the student down the mountain, taking care not to bump her foot along the way. The ankle had started to swell a little and she was in pain but all in all it didn't look too bad when I arrived. Checking the first aid kit to see if there was anything useful therein, (there wasn't), I found the two sturdiest branches I could and then looked around for something that I could use to lash them to her leg. When I saw it I grinned. "Honey, I'm sorry but you're going to lose your shirt." Michael laughed and dutifully peeled of his mud-stained ASWWU Tee. "It's ok. This one was ruined anyway."

In a few short minutes we had reduced his shirt to strips and used them and the lengths of wood to splint her ankle. That done the boys joined wrists in a basket carry and we took her down to safety.

Never let it be said that senior survival is a pointless exercise.

Surfer, Heather Lee

2010-10-20T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today I learned many things. I learned how to put my bicycle on the bike rack of a city bus, I learned that it is not wise to thinking about surfing whilst driving, that cycling and skirts don't mix and lastly that my name is actually Heather. Intrigued? Let's continue.

The skirt and the bike rack

Today I worked at our curb side Kiosk. This meant that instead of getting to work by 5:30 I had to be in at 5. This wasn't a big deal because I would be leaving at roughly the same time, but I since I didn't want to be at the bus stop at 4:30 I decided that I would ride my bike. Since it's only 3 miles or so down to Waikiki I figured I could easily make it in under 30 minutes, but wanting to give myself plenty of time I left at 4:30 anyway.

I must say, it really was a nice trip. Because it was 4 am I didn't have to fight traffic of any kind and also because it was 4, there was no sun to sweat under. Oh thank heaven. There were only two annoyances on the way in:

1. Regardless of the fact that our bike is a woman's cruiser designed with a lovely dip in the frame to accommodate female attire, my skirt was repeatedly caught in the back wheel.

2. At one particular stoplight a car with three eastern European twentysomethings pulled up and started chatting at me. "Hey how fast does your bike go?"(Quietly Summer replies, "Fast enough.") "You wanna race?" ("If you want to loose...") "Maybe we should just take your bike now!" (Thinking: "Holy crap. They're going to steal my bike! Dang it Summer! Why can't you just keep your mouth shut!")

The light turns green. They rev their engine and peel out. I breathe a sigh of relief and slowly bring my bike up to top speed of 10 miles per hour.

Working at the kiosk was fun and exciting. The people who came in were of a different breed then those who normally frequent our pool side shop. In contrast to the "Medium decaf iced soy late with a half pump of hazelnut, 1 pump of sugar free vanilla and nonfat whipped cream" coffee drinkers, kiosk customers are your no frills types who just want their coffee so they can function. It doesn't matter what it tastes like, just give it to me now. Please. I admit, I like their straight forward approach.

In addition to the new customers, I got to work with cool Steven (Yes. Joke fail Steven. Thankfully i've let that whole issue go). It turns out that Steven is a complete Halloween junkie. During our shift he regaled me with fantastic stories of Halloweens past, of winning $500 prizes with $5 costumes, terrifying tourists with his fake dead body, and his plans to win multiple prizes this year with his ever improving scarecrow serial killer costume. Suddenly baker Steven seems a little more bad ass and terrifying. But in a cool way.

Before I knew it my shift was over and it was time to go home. I had planned to stay in Waikiki to learn how to surf from one of our regulars Justin, but when I called he said that all the boards were rented out and maybe we could go later in the day. Yeah, ok. So I unlocked my bike and got ready to head home. That's when I discovered the flat. -sigh- Oh bother. It looks like I will be walking my bike home instead.

Not too keen on walking my 20 lb bike 3 miles uphill at noon, I made the executive decision to strap it onto the front of my bus and ride home instead. For the sake of time, because this story is rapidly turning into a journal entry rather than a short concise blog, we'll just say that the first bus came, I tried to take down the bike rack, got flustered, failed and ended up waving the diver on rather sheepishly. (They don't get out and help you here.) Pride hurt, I started walking. After 3 blocks I read myself a stern lecture on the idiocy of pride and asked for help. When the second bus came, I followed the directions I had been given and executed the process flawlessly. Score for the home team!

Surfing

I met Justin at the surf shop shortly after three. Donning my rash guard so I would at least look the part, we picked up our boards and set out in search of surf. As we began I felt pretty good. "Hey, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be," I mused as we headed out into open water. A minute passed. And then two. "Hey, just so you know, if you get tired I can tow you if you want," Justin called from ahead of me. "How humiliating..." I joked. 2 minutes later my arms began to burn and I realized that there was no way that I was going to make it out to where we were going to be surfing. A minute after that, much to my relief and prideful dismay, Justin towed me the remaining distance.

From there, things got a lot better. We went over the basics and I began the process of rolling, turning, planking, kneeling, and eventually standing! It was genius! I missed a lot of waves but I did stand up for several and actually managed to ride two for a significant amount of time. On the car ride home I was so caught up in remembering the feeling of riding the wave that I nearly drifted into a car in the other lane. Note to self. Don't think about surfing while driving.

Misnamed

I have noticed a disturbing trend since my freshman year of college. I have found that if someone didn't know my name they would automatically default to "Heather." Strange but true. This afternoon when I got back from surfing I received a sign from the universe that perhaps I had been misnamed. I opened my mailbox and saw not one, but TWO Real Simple magazines waiting for me! "Strange," I thought. "Who is this other one for?" When I read the address label I nearly fell over laughing.

2010-10-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

Summer's pie making life was officially over.

Friday Night Dinner

2010-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Vegetarian Chili

Homemade honey cornbread

Apple Pie

New Job

2010-10-13T01:18:00.000-07:00

I am entering my second week of work and settling into the groove of my shop. I still feel like there are heaps that I don't know but I know enough to get by fairly well.

All days up to this one have been fine but today, gosh today. Today just was wrong from the get-go. No doubt it started on Sunday when I wore THE WRONG shoes to work. Whoever said Dansko's were miracle shoes was full of poop. After wearing my set for 6 hours and then traipsing around a mall for 2 more I was on the verge of hysterics when we arrived at home. When I peeled off my torturous clodhoppers I discovered that I had developed one blister on the small toe of my left foot and had started two more right where the shoes buckled. Just great.

Because we are required to wear full on shoes to work, rather than the sandals my pained feet would much rather have run around in, those two sore spots were irritated throughout my shift yesterday and because I didn't want to rub the rather impressive pinky blister, I compensated by walking differently. Translation: I developed a weak-ass limp.

That brings us up to today where we find me running around at break neck speeds to fill orders with a limp and a mean blister. I now have another blister on the side of the foot I was overcompensating on.

Huzzah.

Here's what else contributed to my less than awesome day:

1. For the second day in a row our till doesn't open when we ring up the first customer. Or the second. Our boss is at the other shop and is not answering the phone. We deal. I give customer #1 a free drink card for having to wait. Not sure if I can technically do that, but whatever.

2. I have developed sensitive patches on the fingers of my right hand, no doubt from wiping down the piping hot steam wands. This is inconvenient since I work with hot pots of milk all day long.

3. I started making breakfast sandwiches yesterday. I was given a crash course on how to make 3 of the 6. It seemed ok at the time, but when a huge order came in all at once and 3 of the 4 were ones I didn't know how to make, I panicked. I knew what needed to go on them but not how long each of the elements needed to be nuked in the microwave. (I know. We're high tech.) So, because people were busy up front I made an educated guess. A few minutes later during a lull I asked my boss how the sandwiches were supposed to be made and she told me. She then pointed to a sheet 6 inches away from my face that had instructions on how to make each of the them from start to finish. "If you ever forget, you can use that." Fail.

4. We all know what an affinity I have for jokes. Well, I got to telling some today with one of my co-workers who I consider to be pretty high on the "cool" scale. I had told him a few which he had laughed at but then was slightly dismayed when he ranked them on his pitty/cute scale. Sifting through my arsenal I tried to figure out what his joke style was, because as we know everyone differs. I finally figured it out and he in turn told me a joke which contained subject material that I was unsure about. Figuring that I could deduce what said material was by contextual clues I said that yes I knew what "(insert whatever it was here)" was. Bad gamble. Said material was something made up for this joke alone and wasn't related to anything that I could have remotely known. So what did I do? After laughing I looked confused and then enlightened saying, "Oh! I thought you said (....)" Did he buy it? Well, he did lower his voice when he said it so maybe, but methinks maybe not. So I dwelt on THAT and how big of an idiot I was for the remainder of my shift. Happy thoughts....

So anyway, that's pretty much it. Not so bad I suppose, but they all just seemed to add up. I still left smiling because I really do like my job but it was just a less than stellar day. I look forward to my day off tomorrow.

Little Red Car!

2010-10-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

This is our new car! It's a '99 Cheve Geo Metro.

34 miles per gallon

Fits two boogie boards in the "trunk."

...and 5 people in the back. If you're REALLY determined.

Name suggestions?

September 19-Talk like a pirate day

2010-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Avast me hearties! The day ye've all been waiting fer is upon us! It's time to pull out yer eye patch and parrot and get yer pirate on! Arrrrrgg!

Here be a few helpful bits of booty to aid ye on yer way to a successful holiday.

-The Original Talk Like A Pirate Day Site-Has all manner of helpful swag it does.
-Glossary of Pirate terms -To help you beef up yer repertoire!
-Pirate Speak Translator-Have something you're itching to say but don't know quite how to say it? Let 'em give you a hand.
-The Cardiff Rose: A wee bit of pirate poetry

And last but not least some sea chanteys to sail by!

If this playlist doesn't work, try this link:
Grooveshark Widgets - Music Playlists for Your MySpace & Blog

The wall

2010-08-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

Here is my current project. In a nut shell, Michael's classroom had a giant white wall that needed "something." We brainstormed and decided on making three arched windows that looked out onto scenes of (insert something inspiring here). We don't have an artist to paint said scenes yet, but we had to start somewhere so I took on the project of "THE WALL." Since I'm not feeling particularly chatty tonight (this may change by the end of our time together), I'm just going to explain each phase in brief.

PHASE ONE: Taping

In my great wisdom I thought that it would be a great idea to tape all of the mortar rather than having to paint new mortar in. I can't say exactly which one would have been faster now that I've done it, but it took A LONG TIME to finish this phase alone.

PHASE ONE POINT FIVE: Forming arches

I enlisted the captain to draw the bottom of the arc, and then I went about taping it up and drawing in the new bricks, both behind and within the arch. This is what the wall looked like when all the taping was complete.

PHASE TWO: Painting

As you can see, this wall is quite large(roughly 32' x 11.5'), and boy does it suck paint! This was what I accomplished before school started.

PHASE THREE: Painting (2nd installment)

On Sunday, I finished up the side segments and then started painting the arches with a medium/large artist's brush. I got tuckered out standing on the ladder and twisting to reach the wall so they didn't get completely finished but I will complete them this Sunday. Here's what did make the cut.

So, there it is. On Sunday I will finish up the arch and a half and maybe, just maybe, I will start pulling of the tape. I had thought to texture all the bricks but now that I look at it, I don't know if I need to. We'll see.

2010-08-18T01:56:00.000-07:00

We easily have the best friends in the world. You require proof? Alright. For one, our friends helped us move. Three times. In one year. (It's really amazing that they are still our friends at all.) But it's great! We seem to have it down to a science. The movees pack everything up, the boys do the heavy lifting and the girls unpack. It's a sharp system and with 8 people working we can move entire houses in a few short hours.

As much fun as it is hanging out during the moving process, it's quite tedious work and 3 moves in a year is enough to tax even the most loyal comrade. So, as a parting gift to our group of friends as we made our most recent move to Hawaii, we hired movers. Well, actually they were included in the new job contract, (Score!) but that's hardly the point.

In the weeks leading up to the move, the captain and I worked diligently to box up everything we owned, but when the big day finally dawned we still had quite a few things that needed to be stowed away before it was hauled off to the island. We had been told that the packers would be in contact with us the day before the move to set up a time when they would arrive to package up all of our breakables. This sounded great, but when 11:30pm rolled around Monday night and we had not heard from "Ye old moving company" we were somewhat concerned. When were they coming? We had no idea. Figuring that they would probably arrive around noon, we decided to call it a night and finish up in the morning.

Knowing that there was much to do, we got up before 8 the next morning and began our day. I was glad that we had decided to get the early start when, a few minutes after 8, we saw a giant moving van pull up to the curb completely unannounced, a discretion that can be excused between friends, but perhaps not between strangers. (Thankfully the captain and I had showered and were appropriately attired upon their arrival.)

As you can imagine, I was a bit flustered. Suddenly I had to load everything up and I simply wasn't ready! I was relieved to discover this was just the packing crew. The shipping container wouldn't arrive until 1pm. Whew.

With that we set about the task of boxing up "everything else." The captain and I thought we had things pretty well in hand but it was amazing how much they found to put in boxes. The overseer in me had a great time. They would ask, "Hey do you want this boxed up too?" and I would respond, "Yes!" And away it would go. Neat and tidy.
You've got to love that.

Before long our house was a mass of brown boxes and packing paper that spewed out onto the lawn. Quite the sight.

When the shipping container arrived, we just sat back and let the men do what they do. I tried to help, but quickly found that I was more of a nuisance than a help. So I sat down on the stairs and played with my ipod touch. It was the easiest move we'd ever had.

That is until we arrived in Hawaii. Suddenly we realized just how long it took to unpack an apartment. A job that normally took 3 hours suddenly ate up an entire week, and let me tell you, it kinda sucked. A lot. As I opened up box after box of kitchen items I couldn't help but remember our last move where, when we had finished unpacking we all sat down on the kitchen floor and read children's books.

Alas friends, you are missed. -sigh- Here are a few snatches from move number four.

Our new home

2010-08-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

The Kitchen:
For any of you who have ever been into one of my kitchens, you know that I require counter space. It's not that I'm a counter hog or snob, I just need space. I believe that all kitchen types need space. It's very hard to create beautiful and tasty things when you have a 6x12" section of "counter top" to work on. Having said this, you can imagine my sight horror when, an hour after our arrival, our new friends Kate and Fred motioned to the dorm kitchen and casually said, "Yeah, your kitchen is about this size."

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the closet of a kitchen. "Ah! Really?!" I said, before I could stop myself. "Yeah, I mean, it's about this size..." said Kate. I shot a look to Michael that said something to the effect of, "You wouldn't make me cook in a kitchen like that, would you?" or "If it's like this, we're moving." He smiled encouragingly as if to say, "It's okay honey, you can make it work." Yes, perhaps if I took a sledge hammer to that wall there...

Much to my delight, our kitchen was nothing like the closet. Here are some pictures of our apartment before we moved in.

Our door. Just in case you come looking for us.

The Kitchen. Look at all my counter space! It wraps all the way around! That being the case, we are going to get a few bar stools and not bother with getting a table.

Living room. You should see our view off the back balcony. It's lovely. We have these giant mango trees that block out the buildings we are surrounded by and makes it feel as if we are living in the wild jungle rather than the urban jungle.

Master bedroom. This doesn't show our closet on the right wall. It's nice and big, though it always amazes me how much clothing we own.

Spare oom. This also has a closet behind the door.

The bathroom. This bathroom doesn't make a lot of sense. The door frame is 25 inches wide and it doesn't have any plug-ins for a hairdryer, straightener, nightlight, whatever. I mention the door frame because this is also the room we have to fit our washer and dryer into, and if you know anything about washers and dryers 25 inches is not a standard size. The Captain and I went to Sears the other day to see what we could find and the load capacities on machines that fit through a 25 inch door space were laughable. Maybe I should just buy a washboard and do the laundry by hand...

Anyway, that is our new home! Other than the laundry room issue, and the fact that everything is eggshell white it's a great space. I am currently taking color suggestions for our walls so feel free to fire away! Aloha and Mahalo.

While I was out...

2010-04-03T18:53:00.000-07:00

So, it happened again. I forgot to sign out of my gmail account whilst Kevin and Mindy were in the room. I really must learn that this is akin to asking the wolf in to dinner. They seem to have taken up the reins since Debora Faye left to China, but they did her proud this afternoon. Methinks that Kevin is mainly to blame but nevertheless, they are married so therefore Mindy is guilty by association. Anyway, without further ado, I present for your consideration a conversation Kevin and "I" had this afternoon via e-mail.

Summer
Kevin, I like your muscles.
Muscle-y.

Kevin
Why, thank you Summer! I've been working out.

Summer
I thought you might've been. It's no small wonder, the way you're so driven, disciplined, level-headed and forward-thinking.
I wish I were like you sometimes.

Kevin
Well, you know. I try.
Some have picked on me for my keen insights into the world of self discipline.
Well observed, grasshoppah.

Summer
Of course, you must try—although it seldom appears difficult for you.
I have been working on observing the great and talented people I look up to the most. I appreciate that you will take me on as a mentor.

Kevin
Ah, um, I think there's been a slight misunderstanding. While I support your growth, I find it rather belittling that you'd assume I have the time for a mentorship program. What, with all the several thousand children I've saved by donating chest hair to be mailed to Africa, I sometimes don't have time for my other teaching endeavors here locally. The shaving process is intense and time-consuming.

Summer
Ah. My mistake. I retract my statement and hope sincerely that you won't take any disrespect to my oblivious approach to the matter. As for the chest hair, I am proud of you for making these donations. What a selfless and wonderful way to support the penal colonies with protein deficiencies. Plus, I'll bet with strong hair such as yours must be they can do many things, much like Native Americans did by using every part of the Buffalo (not to imply you have buffalo-like qualities, except that you burst forth with productive by-products).
Have you ever considered marketing your usefulness to a larger crowd? Many people would probably die at the chance to meet someone so selfless and kind. Perhaps we could make an appeal to the other nations of the world to put you on a tour track for the benefit of mankind. That seems plausible.

Kevin
Why, I'm honored! I must say, though, that my motivation comes from pure selfless motive. To tour the planet would be to take on celebrity status. While that might be necessary from some perspectives, I'd rather not take this human-kind sponsorship to that level.

Again, I appreciate your kind words. I wish you luck in your ongoing quest to become more like me.

Summer
Thank you, Kevin. Your inspiring nature has touched me today, and I shall not soon forget it.

Kevin
Certainly. Have a great day.

- - -

Correct me if I'm wrong but I was waxing fairly Wes Anderson there for a minute there wasn't I? I'm a genius. I shall submit this script posthaste and await my million. What a productive afternoon.

Talk-to-me tactic #1- Everyday Holidays

2010-03-21T16:59:00.000-07:00

I realize I have gone a bit out of order in revealing my talk-to-me tactics that I told you about earlier this month. Since the captain is out of town this weekend I have a little bit of extra time on my hands and so I am using it to bring everyone up to speed.

My first talk-to-me tactic came to me in a fit of inspiration one day as I was making the daily schedules for my department. When I was an RA I used to put random daily holidays on the message board on my door for the girls on my hall to see and giggle about. They ranged from actual holidays such as St. Patrick's day to We love broccoli day, which is coming up tomorrow actually (March 22).

As I sat working on my schedules thinking about how much I would love to talk to somebody it struck. "I could put random holidays on the daily schedules!" Yes. That could definitely work.

And guess what? It did! The very first day the scheduling guru chatted me up quite properly. A little more belated was my tea buddy. He has started commenting on the holidays nearly every day! Woot Woot! Speak to me!

In signing off, just to spread the joy, here are this weeks holidays:

Monday, March 22
International Goof-Off Day

Tuesday, March 23
National Chip and Dip day

Wednesday, March 24
National Chocolate Covered Raisins day

Thursday, March 25

National Waffle Day

Friday, March 26
No homework day-Annually the last Friday in March

(On this day teachers are not supposed to assign homework. Most students don't really think about this however because they are usually on spring break. It seems to me that they could have placed this holiday at a time when it would be more appreciated...)

Saturday, March 27
Photography day!

Things that rhyme with Farkle...

2010-03-14T22:55:00.001-07:00

...Sparkle!

I am so excited! My friend gave me a gift tonight. A sparkly gift. One that I have been keeping my eye on and intending to buy from her shop on Etsy for the past few months. Galaxy earrings! I am thrilled. I have a sneaky feeling that they could be talk-to-me tactic #4. Thanks friend!

Date night stories

2010-03-01T21:06:00.000-08:00

So today at work I got a great idea for date night:

Go to Hastings and write a short story using book titles

I know! I'm a genius. Anyway, after the captain and I went out for mexican food and spent our time pondering the great mysteries of the world (as posed by tidbits), we headed to the book store and composed these masterpieces. I've bolded the book titles.

THE CAPTAINS' STORY
Gregor, the Overlander and eldest lightening thief was a wicked highland sinner. His sweetheart, the other daughter of Dracula, was a mistress of the art of death. They would prey on each other with animal instincts in the comany of cheerful ladies, calling it holy sex, and leaving them in a state of fear. But then, a pure reader of the Bible, an unquiet mind, came to try and influence the everlost with the secret to true happiness. This was a smack to their faces and gave them peace like a river.

MY STORY (Slightly shorter because I restarted 15 minutes in)
The known world is virgin earth. A separate country on the rocks. One hundred years of solitude in the waste land brings a year of wonders. In the company of cheerful ladies, Cavelli's lost heir, Eon, is the black sheep.The joy of pregnancy is Lost on her and without a backward glance, Eon escapes into thin air.

The 'book of lies' falls and is gone, but not forgotten on the road. The historians live one day at a time, prisoners of hope, because hope dies last...

I know. I want to read them too.

Talk to me tactics- The beginnings

2010-02-26T17:51:00.001-08:00

So, how about an update on my job?

I have just completed my third week of work and though it hasn't worn off completely I am exiting the "I HAVE A JOB!" phase of employment and entering the more objective and sophisticated, "Yes, I have a job" stage.

I was told by everyone when I was hired that it was a lovely place to work, and the "Welcome Summer" sign and bouquet of flowers certainly attested to this. The people smiled a lot and were friendly when you talked to them, yet at this point I was content to go to and from my desk as quickly as possible with no wasted steps. My little cubicle was my safe haven and since I was being taught so many things all at once I did a lot of introspective thinking and employee manual reading.

After a few days I noticed that things were rather quiet in the office. This struck me as slightly strange because we have 23 people in our department and I would imagine some level of noise at all times (Noise other than the pop machine in the break room humming). "Maybe the people around me are quiet because they think I'm busy doing something," I thought to myself one day as I sat taping my pen and drinking my umpteenth cup of tea over my open employee manual.
"I miss Kristi." SHE would talk to me. This quiet work environment was going to take some getting used to.

During week two I had a revelation. They were quiet ALL the time. There were brief fits and starts of conversation but nothing that constituted even the beginnings of a dull roar. "Yeah," said the girl who used to have my job but is now working in a different part of the company, "They don't talk much." Oh. Sweet. Heavens. What was I going to do?

I had always considered my best work environment to be one absent of sound and distractions. But suddenly, sound was what I desperately need. I came home to the captain during week two, horribly despondent. "I don't have any friends! What am I going to do!?"
"Why don't you make some?" he said reasonably. "You never have problems making friends."
"I know, but you have to be able to talk to make friends. THEY DON'T TALK!"

I had a point. They didn't and don't talk. I suddenly saw the year stretching out before me like the Sahara desert and I, armed with a cap full of water, wanted to cry. I knew however, being the sensible person that I am, that if I cried I would dehydrate and die faster so I came up with a plan to keep me going. Talk-to-me-tactics. A little social experiment if you will to try and get conversation flowing whenever possible. I have already tried out 4 or so and they are working wonderfully. I will tell you about them in more depth in the days to follow.

Ninja

2010-02-14T16:38:00.000-08:00

see more Epic Fails
Folks, I've decided I want to be a ninja so I can use exits like this. I'll be seeing you. (But you won't be seeing me. 'Cause I'm a ninja.)

Friday Night Blue Streak--An Experiment

2010-02-05T21:58:00.000-08:00

Let it be known that Kevin did it too.

The Fill In Friends

2010-02-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

How would you feel if someone told you that you were a "fill in" friend? I suppose that if you were the absentee friend, you would feel incredibly loved that your position was not being filled. *Cough*DEBANDJONNY*COUGH*

The question is, if I were, I mean if you theoretically were a fill in friend, would the person tell you so? -quizzical head tilt/nod- I am not certain. But I find myself faced with this very problem.

It's sad because tonight is Sabbath. One would think that you would be safe on this sacred day. But EVIDENTLY not. Evidently, Satan doesn't observe this lovely day. He likes to torment happy people who thought they had -------. Friends. -sniff-

Friends are great. Truly. Only a true friend would call you a fill in friend in order to guilt you into staying in town instead of flying to another city to surprise your parents for the day. So, really I suppose it's not so bad to be a fill in friend.

Inspiration credit to: Kevin Coleman

Unlikely import

2010-01-20T14:23:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago the captain and I watched this news story about "The Coupon Mom." This woman is amazing, buying $100 worth of groceries for $.25. I was inspired. So I have begun clipping coupons myself. This practice really has paid off and today it was good for a laugh when I ran across this.

Not an import you would expect in Walla Walla Washington is it?

The Umbilical Brothers

2010-01-17T21:54:00.000-08:00

So, the Captain and I happened upon a gem on YouTube the other day. They go under the alias of "The Umbilical Brothers." Since it is late I am just going to show you rather than try to explain how awesome they are.

Gleaner Fame

2010-01-14T12:29:00.000-08:00

So, the Captain and I went climbing on Tuesday night for the first time in, well, ages. It was lovely to be back among fellow climbers after our long absence. While there we met a girl from Upper Columbia Academy named Danielle. She and I struck up a conversation and it turned out that this was her 3rd time climbing and she was all alone. The Captain and I had just finished eating copious amounts of Thai food so I offered to belay her (since I had no intention of climbing). She was thrilled. As we chatted the Captain walked by and I stopped him for introductions. It was then that we had our first brush with stardom. "Wait, what were your names again? Michael and Summer Lee? THE Michael and Summer Lee? I totally recognize you guys from the Gleaner! You guys were in Borneo or something like that, right?"

We just stood there, baffled, wondering what had just happened. "Oh, my gosh. We're famous. From the GLEANER," I thought in disbelief. "This is AWESOME."

This is our claim to fame.

Book Launch

2010-01-13T17:00:00.000-08:00

So, my awesome sister Jaime has written a book. About chocolate. "How could it get any better?" you may ask? Well, since I got to format/edit it my name is in the book too. Somebody needs to slap me. My head is in the clouds. I have my name in a book. Anyway, this clearly isn't about me. It's about her and her fantastic accomplishment. Here's a synopsis for all of you:

From its genesis in primordial pre-Venezuelan jungles to its seductive shaping of European dynasties, chocolate has long held its consumers in thrall.

Liv Deirdre Solomon is a 20 something with ageless wanderlust and a past filled with challenges.

Nora Evangelina Harrison, a woman in her mid 40's with an eye for the rarified and unique.

In a tale dancing through space and time, Liv and Nora encounter ancient secrets of life passed down through wise elders and whispers of wisdom that all smell vaguely of longing, vitality and cacao...

Buy Theobroma Gypsies online now!

The Spartans of Senior Survival '10

2010-01-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

The last night of WWVA's senior survival was quite a memorable one. Each night during the week, the girls and guy's would introduce themselves in clever sing song ways. On Thursday night, the girls all managed to get in on one giant cheer that left the guys surprised and jiggered that they had not thought of it first. (The captain was slightly terrified because he was surrounded by girls when we all stood up unexpectedly and began to chant.) In any case, on Saturday night when cheer time came all the men were mysteriously absent. When one of their numbers were called, one lone student wearing naught but a Depends diaper and a carrying a walking stick, stood up in front of his female classmates and shouted out into the night, "Senior class! Who are we?" And from behind us came the chant of spartan warriors, "Hua! Hua! Hua!" followed by the sound of cracking branches and war cries. They emerged from the darkness running as one, the men of the '10 senior class and their counselors. Every last one of them in boxers, briefs, or giant diapers. It certainly was a sight I won't soon forget. After circling us they filed to the front and sang a chorus of 'Who let the dogs out?' and a ballad of their own design. The latter is below.

Sung to the tune of "Can you feel the love tonight?"

I haven't changed my undies, (What?)
In a matter of days (Sick)
Just brought one pair, but now regretting it
This itch has got me crazed

No time for doing laundry
Tomorrow we return
But until then we'll serenade you all
While your nostrils burn,

Can you smell the stench tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for these wide-eyed wanderers
That it's come this far

Come and smell the stench tonight
before you go to rest
It's enough to make queens like you dry heave
Believe us! It's our best.

I'm yours

2009-12-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

So, since I'm a youtube junkie, I thought it only right to give you a Youtube clip of the day. This kid is... well, I'll just let you watch for yourself. I think they should rename the video, "The itch."

The Starburst trick

2009-12-10T23:09:00.001-08:00

You know that trick that some people can do with Starbursts? You pop a wrapped candy into your mouth and hucha hucha hucha, out comes the wrapper clean as a whistle. The candy is left intact in your mouth and everyone is very impressed by the fact that you have done such a feat with your tongue.

I was thinking about this today as I left work, struggling to unwrap my Hersey's kiss with gloved fingers. There was no way I was going to take off my gloves because it was 14 degrees outside, but I wanted the chocolate. After weighing my options for a moment I decided it was worth a shot to see if my mad Starburst skills would transfer to Hersey kiss skills. This is what I learned:

1. Chocolate melts
2. The signature 'flag' sprouting from the top of the kiss dissolves in saliva
3. Trying to peel tinfoil off of anything with your teeth and tongue is like licking batteries. Never a good idea.

And so, oh best beloved, next time you have the urge to toss a wrapped Hersey kiss in your mouth because you're craving chocolate and don't want to get your fingers cold, here is my advice to you. Wait about 30 seconds until you get to your car and turn on the heater. The experience will be much more enjoyable.

Time=(insert number here)

2009-11-30T12:31:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today what a shame it is that we (students) spend so much time on assignments that never get public viewing time. I'm mean really. I spend hours on video and design projects that get viewed at most 5-10 minutes by an instructor. They are scrutinized and then given a meaningless number that signifies what they are worth. I hate numbers. If only we could be graded on intent.
Anyway, because I can, I am going to post some projects that I have worked on this quarter. Some of them are a little ridiculous but others aren't half bad. At least I feel better about giving them some time on center stage.

Drama high

2009-11-29T23:20:00.000-08:00

The dust has settled and the first day of tech week is over. It's currently 11:21 PM and I am working on coming down off my drama high. There is something unique about drama types. When members of a cast have not seen one another for a length of time there seems to be an inordinate- a word which here means enough energy to power a nuclear bomb, amount of well wishing and high volume story sharing when they reconvene. Such was the case tonight, and it was lovely. I got an enthusiastic sneak hug from Rose, an impromptu song from Duvid about his being 'surprisingly fit' and during intermission there was a spirited rendition of 'Love lifts us up where we belong' from Papa and Lushia. It was quite epic really.
Now I sit in the captain's leather chair with massive amounts of hairspray in my hair and my face feeling somewhat crunchy from the vigorous scrubbing it endured to get rid of stage makeup. I smile and think, "It doesn't get much better than this."

The fickle pumpkin pie

2009-11-14T10:55:00.000-08:00

So this weekend I was enlisted to make a few pumpkin pies for a friends' birthday. It was my first 'order' as it were and I was quite pleased. As I donned my stained white apron I thought, "Don't mess this up. The reputation of the Mathis pumpkin pie recipe is in your hands." Oh Poop. No pressure whatsoever.

There was no use dilly dallying. I had 4 pies to make in 3 hours. We were going over to Madam Finnagin's for dinner at 7, and with just me doing the baking it was going to be a tight race. In short order I had 2 pots of pumpkin and spice plopping on the stove and had set to work on my pie crusts.

I don't know why I have such a hard time with crusts. Every time I make them they come out different. Somehow, though we grew up in the same house, I missed the 'how-to-make-awesome-pie-crust' tutorial that my sisters got. Now, to my credit, I have made some pretty decent pie crusts in my time but as far as consistency is concerned they are nothing like my sisters'. Their crusts are sturdy supportive things that make a pie feel secure and protected. My crusts are flimsy and flaky, falling to pieces at a drop of the hat. Their crusts require a rolling pin to flatten. Mine roll out at the sight of a soggy noodle.

And so the ingredients are before me. I have decided to try using a food processor to blend my crust this time around. I read an article in Real Simple this week that made me think that it was a superior way to go at it, and figured why not? As I tossed the ingredients in and pushed the pulsate button, I was delighted to see the results. The process which normally takes several minutes for me to complete was finished perfectly in a matter of seconds. Flushed with victory I added the water and watched in horror as my dough transformed into something resembling whipped frosting. Oh crap.

Meanwhile on the stove, my pumpkin is boiling away. I have noticed that the consistency of one pot is different from the other but figure it will work out in the end.

Back in pie crust land, I have managed to salvage my crust more or less. It is a signature Summer Lee crust and I massage it into submission without much fuss. In the process of making these the crusts I realize that I won't have enough flour to make two more. I phone the captain who is at the church and request an extra ration. He acquiesces to my request and says he will be home shortly.

At long last, I roll out two beautiful crusts, not very much unlike this. I check the clock and realize that I am not going to have enough time to bake both sets of pies before dinner. I also realize that I am one pie pan short. Just then the captain breezes through the door, flour and sparkling white grape juice in hand. I smile and silently note his deposit into my love bank and then ask him if he can go out yet again and find me a pie pan. The gentleman that he is, he smiles and dutifully awaits instructions. I call up my crafty jewelry-making friend and ask if we can borrow one from her. She laughs and gives us the coordinates to where they are hidden in her kitchen. Out goes the captain, and away I go again on my last set of crusts. Sadly, this batch does not work as well as the first. The first looks like a cancer patient loosing his hair and I quickly decide that I will be a crustless pie. The second looks like a kindergartener's play dough sculpture. "What have I done?" I think to myself as I stare at my creations. Huge. Epic. Fail.
"Screw it," I say out loud. Most of the mayhem is under the pie line. They will never know.

And indeed, once they were baked you really couldn't tell. The two best looking pies we took up to our surrogate parents, and the other two were baked later that night and went to a lunch with my crafty friend and her husband and the other to some of Michael's students. Hopefully the latter set will eat them in low lighting.

Me and Mr. Lee

2009-11-09T17:38:00.001-08:00

I am so amused. The Captain got his first piece of artwork today from one of his study hall kids. Evidently the artist was buzzing around like a bee, spreading mayhem wherever he landed and after repeated warnings got thrown in the brig, aka. the captain's office. The prisoner requested pen and paper, standard issue, but the captain was not in a generous mood and denied the request. Somehow he managed to get ahold of the supplies he needed anyway, (Mentally adding him to my crew of disreputable scalawags) and fashioned a picture for his jailer. I thought the resemblance quite good really. The hair is about the right length and the beard is decent too. I think it says something about the artist that he drew his own head as shrunken. Inferiority complex perhaps?

Common sense on leave for weekend

2009-11-08T22:54:00.000-08:00

So. It's Friday night. The Captain and I have decided to have a relaxing evening playing games and eating Hala bread in honor of Sabbath. We are in the middle of our second game of Ticket to Ride when we get a call from his cousin, Elyse. Would we like to come over for games after vespers? Please. Need she even ask? We would be there with bells on. The evening skips by and soon it's time to leave. I decide that I need to spruce up my appearance before I set foot in public and pop into the bathroom for a brief interlude with my straightener. About a minute later the captain pokes his face in the bathroom door as I stand waiting for it to heat up. It seems to be taking a long time, as is often the case when you are trying to go somewhere. I look into his eyes and they say to me, “Can we go now pleeease? It’s time to plunder!” “Just a minute,” I say grinning. “I’m just waiting for it to warm up.” At this, I pass my fingers close to the ceramic plates. Too close. Searing pain shoots up my finger. “Argh!” I say in a truly piratey fashion.
“Oh honey!” says my captain. “Are you okay? Here let me get you something for that.” He disappears into the kitchen for a moment as I stand staring in disbelief at my finger. As if I can’t believe what it’s just done. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid,” I say shaking my head. The captain returns with Aloe in hand and squirts some onto my finger. The rest of my hair is straightened without mishap and we exit stage left to the party.
We arrive at the gathering and are warmly greeting by cousin and cousins’ tall bearded Canadian boyfriend with broken jaw. He towers at 6’7” and rumoredly broke his jaw from falling from that height. Me thinks it is a lie but it makes for a good story anyway.
As the rest of the guests arrive the captain and I behave like true married types and tuck ourselves into a discreet corner in the kitchen and explore the tea options. Before long I’ve kicked back a glass of pomegranate tea and decided to have another. I stand up and holding my glass in one hand I reach for the ladle. As I bring it close to my glass I immediately see a problem. The ladle is bigger that the top of my mug. But instead of putting my glass down and reposition my hand to hold onto the handle like a normal person, I sens the ladle on a crash course for the mug. And what happens? Scalding water is poured down the side of the glass and consequently over my fingers. Now at this point, most people would put the ladle back into the pot of water, put the glass down and reposition their hand. Sadly, I am not a normal person and I continue to pour the hot water down over my hand, all the while jumping about and saying, “Oh! Ah! Hot water! On my hand. Ow. Ow. Ow.” The jumping and flailing about results in further splashing and scalding until I return the cup safely to the counter top. As you can imagine this little outburst has drawn quite a bit of attention. The giant is greatly concerned. I am hugely embarrassed and lapse into a bit of fevered silence. And my captain? Evidently his mothering was used up with our first bout of the night. He is sitting in his chair. Laughing. My hero.

Apple

2009-11-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

I was looking at my apple this morning, contemplating whether I should smell it, eat it or let it live when I noticed that one side of it was red and the other side was green. "Are all fuji apples like this?" I wondered. I ran a google search and it doesn't appear that they are so I thought, "My! I've got myself a pretty clever apple here. I think I will just admire you." Way to flex your colors little apple. I approve.

Windows in Prague

2009-06-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Doors

2009-06-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

London

Dublin

Prague

Florence

Pisa

Venice

Rome

Salzburg

Alleyways

2009-06-06T17:32:00.000-07:00

Pisa

Florence

Salzburg

Fire fighters

2009-03-02T16:13:00.001-08:00

Wednesday, February 25,2009 - P Tonn has been a fire fighter for 15 years. When asked why he has done it for so long he replied, “I love it. I get to meet people on the worst day of their life and make it better.”

A day in the Life of Mindy

2009-03-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

Mindy Vixie, Senior Mass Communications major, sits in the lobby of a hotel in Whistler, B.C. journaling for her Magazine Article Writing class over Snow Frolic weekend. Under her arm is one of her favorite magazines, Martha Stewart Living. “This magazine inspires me. Each month it’s like getting a new brain. You suddenly have all these crazy new ideas and you want to try all of them!” Her eclectic style and love of recycling is mirrored in her fur hat that she picked up at an antique store.

Faces of the Music

2009-02-09T16:32:00.000-08:00

Yaacov "Yaki" Bergman is the director of the Walla Walla Symphony Orchestra. Born in Israel, Bergman showed an early interest in composition and conducting. He is able to draw what he wants to hear out of his musicians.

Sharon Thompson has been apart of the Walla Walla Symphony for 50 years. Her passion is evident as she draws her bow across the stings of her violin that has a carved lions head for the scroll.

Clay Wick is a retiree from the TriCities. His stance playing his bass does not reveal the playful side of character that is quick to laugh and kind at heart.

Faces of the Music Part 2

2009-02-09T16:31:00.000-08:00

This was Greg Youmans' second time in Walla Walla. He has played the Bass for 40 years and has made a career of freelancing his talents to various orchestras and teaching lessons.

Juliet Stratton is a harp teacher in the Bellview area. With a quick whit and easy smile she makes her music come alive.

Pete Crawford has played the trombone in the Walla Walla Symphony for 14 years. As a music teacher at Whitman college, Crawford normally spends his time with baton in hand directing the concert band. You can see that he enjoys playing just as much.

Faces of the Music Part 3

2009-02-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

"I spent 40 years of my life as a psychologist working in New York," said Chuck Eaton, who has driven from Richland for the past three years to play bass trombone in the symphony. "I enjoyed it," he said with a smile, "but 40 years is enough." Now that he is retired he gets to spend his time immersed in music. "Not everyone gets a second chance. I'm lucky because now I get to do what I love."Eaton is a feisty 71 years-old and though he took a break from his instrument for a number of years he has played since he was 10. "I looked into playing in the TriCities Orchestra but they already had three bass trombonists. I came to the Walla Walla Symphony because they needed one." Although he loved New York, Eaton said that he likes it here as well. "There is a definite pace to life in New York, and it doesn't work as well for older people. It's just easy to live here!" When he is not practicing with the WWSO Chuck spends his time playing in a Jazz band.

Barbra "Barb" Lubbes has played tympani in the symphony for 23 years because, she says with a grin, "It's dramatic!"

Faces of the Music Part 4

2009-02-09T15:12:00.000-08:00

The Cellists

Alex Abrams is a senior Cello performance major at Whitman College. His face is reminiscent of Beethoven as he plays.

Benjamin Gish is the director the symphony, and handbells at Walla Walla Valley Academy. He also teaches cello to various students around College Place and Walla Walla. His involvement in the symphony is yet another outlet for his talents.

The Athlete

2009-02-01T18:55:00.000-08:00

Adriel Robles, freshman, mathematics major, spikes the ball Sunday during warm up at the Walla Walla University Invitational volleyball tournament held in the Winter Educational Complex. Six teams from Washington and Idaho played at the tournament that took place Sunday, Jan. 25. The WWU team took third place behind University of Washington and Tri Cities Puma. In volleyball, tall players normally have an advantage over the shorter, but Robles a man of average height commented that, “It’s not how tall you are its how you play the game.”

Spot News-Speed Dating

2009-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

David Robbins, a senior at Walla Walla University, takes a break from studying Thursday night to attend the ASWWU sponsored speed dating event. Taking place in Kellogg Hall attendees had two minutes with each member of the opposite sex before moving on to the next person. The event lasting 2 hours gave you the opportunity to meet 60 new people.

- Thursday, January 15, 2009.

Every one knows, though few will admit the real reason for speed dating. One man came prepared in case he found Mrs. Right.

Job Search

2009-01-12T16:53:00.000-08:00

Michael Lee relaxes in his armchair before starting another day of job searching. Returning to the Walla Walla Valley in December from a year serving as a student missionary, Lee discovered that finding a job in his field and in the present economy was harder than he had anticipated. "My problem is that I am an educator and I came at the wrong time of the year. Jobs that don't require a certain level of expertise are hard to come by because everyone is competing for them."

Lee has job experience working in Libraries. Hoping to find a job at a local book and game shop Lee's efforts were thwarted when the store stopped accepting applications 3 days after their help ad was posted.

These are the shoes Lee wears at home. The pair he has used to run around town are getting in their miles. Many others besides Lee have met with the same difficulties.